It’s world autism day, better known as Thursday or alternatively everyday! I love awareness & we do everything we can to spread it so why is it that when the world in at your door step saying “Lets all be aware of autism!” do I go into “Bit*h, I can’t BE any more aware!” mode? No, I don’t get rude or mean, you have to talk about it when people want to talk about it because otherwise it will NOT get talked about. On the other hand you have to be careful because for us living the autism awareness that everyone else spends 24 hours celebrating it’s hard not to be jaded that it will all be over in a week or so when the next world whatever day comes along.
That sounds way more jaded than I mean it but you get me right? I vent but at the same time I do want to talk to every person that strikes up a conversation about what I think about a cure for autism or what do I think about vaccinations. Yes, I do want to read the article you posted on my facebook wall about parenting tips that will help solve my problems. It’s cool, I WANT to talk about it & it’s only after all these years I’m realizing that I don’t just have a kid with autism, I have a duty to all kids with autism to educate my community, my family, & anyone else I have access to. (that’s you by the way) Even if the opinions differ or I’m having a crappy day or I’m just all autism’d out that day I still have a duty to educate & make people aware because someday my kid will be grown. The more accepting people are, the more aware people are, & the more prepared they are to come across someone a little different that all makes sure he has a chance. So yeah, light it up blue today? Pass me the matches & I’ll light this world on fire with big blue flames! (metaphorically speaking only, put down the phone! No need to call the authorities! Its way harder to spread awareness when your on a no fly list!)
Cheese Cake On A Stick at our favorite food truck park
Slick new haircuts! These faces are the story of my freakin’ life!
We love Big Bang Theory! From the time our son was diagnosed we have always had friends & older family members who had a hard time understanding what was going on with him. ‘He’s just an odd kid’ or ‘He’ll grow out of it’ were common sayings that made us want to pull our hair out. Slowly as shows like Parenthood became more popular they showed some of those people what we go through daily people started to get it. Even more than the heavy story lines of parenthood, Big Bang & Dr. Sheldon Cooper came to the rescue showing the masses that these kind of people are not only productive members of society but they are awesome! It wasn’t just a win for getting people to look at kids with Asperger’s in a different light but it was a release for patents like us, a time to laugh & say ‘he totally does that!!’ Last night we settled in to watch the most recent new episode in which Penny & Sheldon do an experiment to see if they can fall in love by going through questions. Aside from the fact that the episode was hilarious there was a moment where he went all high functioning autistic on us talking about how he wished he could read minds because facial expressions & social cues were so hard to understand. He told penny he was envious of her because she could do these things so easily. While millions of people tuned in & laughed & laughed again at the antics the characters were going through I couldn’t help but take a second to realize that while all these NT people are laughing there are scores of parents just like us watching, welling up with a tears at the realization that it’s going to be okay that our kids aren’t the same as yours. It’s a big deal that the writers add these kinds of story lines. When someone comes along who doesn’t have contact with one of these kids & 10 years ago would have just written them off as an odd ball now they associate them with someone like Sheldon making them, even unknowingly, more accepting of our kids!
Is it a cure for autism… kind of yeah! Because the kind of cure we need is acceptance & awareness! Autism isn’t chicken pox, it’s not something that is going to go away after taking a pill or drinking a fruit smoothie. Granted there are a boat load of opinions on these last two sentences but even if you do think autism is something that is curable we can all agree that awareness & acceptance is always a good thing.
It’s been a while between posts but as we are pretty much snowed in today I thought I would take a second to update. We got a call last week from the middle school letting me know there was a problem but they couldn’t really give a lot of details but told me the principal would be contacting me shortly to go over what happened. Well, I’m not really a ‘wait for a phone call’ kind of parent so I headed up to the school for an in person meeting. I quickly found out that he was playing, acting like a robot, & some kids that were in the same area didn’t like it so one of them grabbed him by the hood of the jacket throwing him to the ground. My son hit his head on the ground but the school said he seemed okay so they sent him back to class. When I got into the principles office I was told that they were pretty sure my son & the kids he was playing with were playing this ‘game’ in the area of the other kids to ‘annoy’ them. I was told at that time that he was just shoved down to the ground & hit his head, only getting the full story later. I know this all sounds bad & that I should be super upset that this kid did it but when talking to the school I was told the offending kid is a good kid & the principle knows his family… yeah… I feel so much better now! So all is forgiven because the kids parents are friends with the staff? They were quick to let me know that my son got up from the ground & told the bully ‘F#@k You!” Was I surprised that my autistic angel knew this word that his dad has never used before!?! YES, I don’t know wheeeerrrreeee he would have heard that word! But on the same page, you throw me down & I slam my head against the ground I’m probably going to give you a few choice words as well. Do I condone him talking like that, no. Did I have a talk with him about it, yes. Am I going to bust his chops over it, no way! Honestly I’m more stoked that he used it in the right context Autism Win! (Shhhhh don’t tell anyone I said that!)
So let me get this all lined out; My son was playing, another kid came up behind him because the fact that my sons was playing a game in his vicinity was annoying & grabbed him by the hood of his coat throwing him down on the ground & hitting his head on the ground, & I’m told my son said a bad word & the other kid is a good kid from a good family! Just another example of solid logic used by our public school system here in progressive Oklahoma. So frustrating!
Crazy days but all will even out. I think things are getting back to normal. Thankfully right after that incident was his 12th birthday so we gave him the option a party of a day where we did what ever he wanted to do. He wanted to go eat at his favorite restaurant & go buy him a new keyboard. He really wanted one that would sample, loop, & allow him to compose his own music. Some of his music is getting really good, most days you can find him in his room writing music notes in his notebook. I thought it was strange that he wanted to go to a super authentic
mexican restaurant for his birthday since he will not eat it but we sat down & he ordered chicken strips with french fries. Hey, what ever he wants! The staff heard us talking about his birthday, they brought out their sombrero for him & sang. He was so excited.
A look back at him growing up…ouch! How did we get so old!
If you follow me on social media you know we just got out of the hospital with our middle son Zion. Asthma is always a looming problem in our home and for the last couple of years we have been pretty well controlled but this year it caught us off guard. Three days in the hospital for breathing treatments and steroids was rough but back to “normal” we go! I just wanted to take a second to say thank you so much to all of the followers that took a second to comment on social media, message, or email sending good thoughts/prayers our way. You have no idea how much that means to us.
We started the fun off by renting a limo to drive us around looking at Christmas lights. I won’t get into how horrible the day was when our transmission went out on the highway stranding us an hour from home in traffic trying to limp to where we were meeting the limo. Our brand new (new to us anyway) SUV….our brand new, most money I’ve ever paid for a car & makes me sick to think of the car payment on a car that’s in pieces at the shop right now…our brand new, the extended service plan they sold me better flippin’ cover this or I will be the only male stripper trying to make money by taking $1’s to put my cloths back on, car. Yeah… you get the picture. The kids had no idea & when it pulled up to get us it was all worth it. Their faces were glowing!
Over the last few months we have officially become Doctor Who fanatics in this house! I say we because despite my resistance at first I am now sold on the Doctor. So when it came time to search for Christmas gifts we turned to one of the only places that really get our kids: Think Geek. We got sonic screwdrivers, we have stuffed Daleks that MUST be cuddled but let you know that they want to EXTERMINATE you, books, games, a magnetized floating Tardis, you name it we got it this year! BUT the one thing I was banking on to blow minds was a massive Tardis tent that folds out to be bigger on the inside. It did not disappoint! At one point I could hear Jayden giggling when I peeked in I found him in the Tardis with his plasma ball, very sciency! Yeah, sciency… thats a word right. It was a great holiday & I hope that all of you had a great one two!
I was just supposed to put it together but TOTALLY got sucked in!
The two youngest called dibs on sleeping in the TARDIS first!
My parents never understood! They didn’t understand my music, the way I dressed, ANYTHING! I won’t mention the fact that I listened to punk rock, wore two different color chuck taylor converse, & mostly sported old man plaid pants I bought at Good Will! STILL they didn’t get it! But you know what I’m finding now that I’m a parent; now I don’t get it! I feel like I get more than my parents did. I get adventure time, I get minecraft, I REALLY get Gravity Falls, I get Doctor Who & I feel like I get autism! (not like I GET autism… ‘I’m feelin’ strange, I think I may be getting autism’ not like that!) I DON’T get so much more than that though. I don’t get:
Milestone – I don’t want to talk about the birds & the bees let alone know WHEN to. Can’t Google be the parent on this one!?!
Friends – I want the kids to have friends but at the same time they have brothers & I can control those…yeah, I’m overprotective!
Middle School – It has to be the 7th circle of hell! The kids are massive, the teachers are scowling, & the hormones are running.
PTA – I know it’s for the kids but I don’t want to be the chairmen of the board in charge of how many ply toilet paper is in the girls bathroom in hall #4 & I definitely don’t want to be the one sitting at the door of the fall carnival trying to keep a straight face explaining to people why it’s $4 a kid for a half a glass of powdered lemonade & one slice of a $5 pizza from Little Caesars!
Douche bag dads! - Pardon the crass language but their shirts are tight, their music is cranked up in the car line, & they have that Top Gun Val Kilmer look on their face! WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPRESS? The parents think your annoying & the kids are laughing at you.
I guess all things come with time & as we come to a new bridge we will either cross it or burn it! Either way as long as we stick together it will be okay but MAN is it scary! In my last post I talked about my son being bullied. I was crazy mad & confused as to what to do! Then I got a phone call:
Mr Hibben, this is your sons middle school. There has been an incident that we need you to help us address with your son.
I’m in full attack mode, WHAT HAPPENED NOW! Come to find our my tables had been turned. In his favorite class, science, they were preparing to do a project. This is live heaven to him because any thing science related falls under our special interest. The class was loud & wouldn’t stop their talking so the teacher, after giving the class as a whole a warning she told them they would not be doing the project because of their disobedience. My son was crushed & upset so he apparently walked up to the kid in class that was talking the most (in his mind because he was the biggest culprit he was the main cause) & he kicked him in the leg. Thankfully the kid went & told the teacher instead of beating the crap out of my son. After all the over stimulation & emotions running wild he waited in the councilors & fell asleep. He hardly touched the kid thankfully but so far out of the lines of whats okay & what’s been instilled in him. It completely turned everything around. He understood what he did was wrong & after a long danny tanner talk we headed home, I’m very happy that if this had to happen at least we didn’t have many more schools days till winter break! We had some talks, reworked though the situation as to how we should have handled it, & went back to school with a “hopefully” heartfelt apology to the boy who was kicked.
I feel like I’m a pretty sharp guy. I feel like I’m doing a pretty good job. I feel like I can spot a problem on the horizon or trouble looming up ahead but at times like these you are reminded that just because you think you have a good idea of whats up ahead always be ready for anything! I should really start a parenting boot camp for newly diagnosed parents but lets just be honest we would probably overwhelm them & end up polishing off to many bottles of wine to be helpful!
Hope you all have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, & a great New Year!